It is amazing how kids can come up with some really profound questions. What is even more amazing is how easily they do it. And, of course, these are the times that we, as adults dread and also have the greatest opportunity to be just as profound. Well, maybe not all that profound, but at least we can make these times real teachable events. Certainly, a child’s profound question doesn’t need and profound answer, but it does need an answer that is truthful, helpful, compassionate when needed, and understandable to the child.
Often, though, we find ourselves in a situation that needs a special sensitivity that elicits a compassion that doesn’t neglect truth. We may find ourselves in a situation that, from our point of view, a truthful answer might seem harmful to the sensitivities of the child asking the question. It is at that time we are tempted to soften, even hide the truth to protect the innocence and perceived fragility of the child in question. In the end, this is not compassion or love, but rather a way for us to escape hard and difficult answer that requires some real thought.
There is no doubt in my mind that these kinds of things run through the mind of any responsible adult when dealing with children, especially when sharing the Gospel. For the Gospel requires the addressing of the problem of sin and God’s judgment before we can responsibly share the good news of the cross of Calvary. To ignore sin and judgment to avoid frightening a child is to do a great disservice to that child and dishonor God. We need to remember that born into each of us is an innate knowledge of God for we are created in “His image and likeness” (Genesis 1:26). This includes an understanding of right and wrong (Romans 2:14).
Yesterday, I was critical of Pope Francis and his handling of young Emanuele. He clearly softened what has been normal, traditional Catholic teaching on unbelief and judgment. He also taught the “universal fatherhood of God and brotherhood of man as if even the non-believer is a child of God. However, mankind in his lost condition is alienated from God and a child of the devil (Ephesians 2:-13). The Pope then promoted a works salvation that allowed him to take an unbeliever, apply virtue through “good works” and in the end proclaim Emanuele’s unbelieving father to be in heaven.
So, if I am going to criticize, then what would I have done?
Let’s set the stage. Here is a young boy who is heartbroken over the death of his father whom he loved dearly. He is near tears and when explaining his situation, easily cries in grief. He knows that his father was an atheist. He also knows his father loved him and was a good man in this young boy’s eyes. He approaches me as a spiritual leader and wants to know if his father will be in heaven. It is clear that he understands the reality of hell, as his question demonstrates his concern as to whether his father will be in heaven.
So, how would I have handled that heart-breaking situation?
First, I think physical contact, as the Pope did, is important. The hugs of compassion are worth their weight in gold. The question that Emanuele asked is profound, but it also reveals the need for an intimate response (Psalm 131:2).
Secondly, do not underestimate the heart of a child. They understand the evil within themselves (Proverbs 22:15) and at the same time have a tenderness toward the things of God (cf. Matthew 18:3).
Thirdly, treat them with respect and a true concern and a love they can read on your face. These are precious moments that will not likely be repeated. Love them and the opportunity that has been granted to you by God.
Fourth, be a good listener. It is important to hear their heart as well as their words.
With Emanuele in my arms, I would have hugged firmly. Then I would listen to his question. I think at that point I would hug him just a little harder after he had finished. Then I would have answered him;
“Your loss is a great loss. It breaks your heart to lose a loving father. I can tell you loved him very much. Emanuele, I don’t know if your father is in heaven. I can tell you that if he is, he is waiting for you and your brothers and desires that you too will be in heaven with him. If he is not, I can tell you that he would not want you to be with him because of his love for you.
He would want you to admit and confess that you are a sinner to Jesus and trust Him for your salvation. The heart’s desire of your father for those he loves, like you, would be to trust Jesus today. He would want you to repent of your sin and look to Jesus for your salvation and comfort; especially during this time of great sadness.
It is clear that you loved your father and that he loved you. The best gift you could give him would be to trust Jesus Christ today as your Lord and Savior. In this, you would honor both God and your father. There is nothing can replace the loss you feel now, But when we trust Jesus Christ, He can bring healing.”
-Michael Holtzinger