When my wife and I were raising our children we didn’t have to cope with the rise of mobile phones, the smartphone, tablets, and a whole host of other electronic devices. They just didn’t exist until their late teens. By the time our children headed off to Bible college, these devices were becoming the staples of American life. Parents were giving their children flip phones so that they could keep in touch and as a safety measure. They were seen as necessities by many while our children were in high school. Then, in early 2007, Apple announced its first iPhone. From that day forth the dynamic of cells phones changed.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love electronic gadgets. I was one of the first to own a personal computer (PC). No, it wasn’t a Microsoft or Apple product. It was a CPM machine with two 5″ floppy drives and no hard drive! I saw their potential for ministry, and I’ll admit, I was just plain capture by their potential. A lot has happened since then and the personal computer, tablets, and smartphones, are for most of us, a reality of everyday life. But with them and especially with the pervasive nature of the internet, things have changed and a whole new world has opened up and parental decisions have become more complicated.
We could talk about gaming, texting, email, social apps, and a great deal more that have found their way onto computers, tablets, gaming consoles, and the ubiquitous smartphone, and obvious, our lives. But I want to zero in on the smartphone that most of our children are carrying around with them every day.
The smartphone of today is more powerful than computers that were used in banks just some 15 years ago. They are colorful, socially engaging, and open up a world that has much to share and much of it that is harmful. Only the naive parent doesn’t see that. So what do we do?
One thing for sure is that we must prepare of children, not for the world we grew up in but the world they are living in today. Electronics play a major role in our society and they can’t be ignored. But with them, we see, not only that they can be helpful tools, but that they can also be very dangerous for all kinds of reasons. As an example, in the last few days, Google has announced a new social app that is targeted to young children down to the age of kindergarten. The point of this, of course, is to increase product availability with no concern for any ramifications this might have on our youth and families.
So, how should we address this clear social phenomenon? Should we allow our children to have smartphones and at what age and under what circumstances?
There really is no easy answer to this question. But let me lay out some guidelines we recommend to our parents at Valley View Bible Church and Christian School.
It is understandable that parents in our present age would want to have the availability of immediate contact with their children when at school are away from home in the dangerous world in which we live. The smartphone is an obvious answer.
We would recommend that the use of a smartphone before Junior High would not be recommended. If and when you give for children a smartphone it should be one with limited features. Also, we would recommend the installation of software (Android; Nova Launcher) that would lock down the phone from the child adding apps that you, as a parent, have not previously approved. In most cases, texting, limited email, and limited internet access would be best. You can then expand use as your child shows he or she has demonstrated a responsible use of the phone. We do not recommend giving any smartphone to a child that is wide open. We realize that there will be social pressure that will cause your children to want more access. Be firm and wise. Know about any apps and their capabilities before granting access to them. Make sure the smartphone is locked so only the parent can ad apps. Watch your children’s time use as well.
Also look for ways to filter content on the internet in the home. There are a great number of apps out there that work with varying degrees of success, such as Qustodio, Net Nanny, and Windows Parental Control for Windows 10. There are other tools available, of course, so do your due diligence and check around.
Check your child’s smartphone from time to time to make sure it is set up exactly the way you gave it to them. Be sure to check the app drawer for any additional apps that you have not approved. Yes, you are the FBI (Family Bureau of Investigation). It is possible, despite your best efforts, that your child’s phone’s lockdown feature was defeated and apps you haven’t approved are on the phone.
Also, check the phone’s browser app history as well. The browser app needs to be locked down so that the history can’t be deleted. If that’s not possible, then assume that upon investigation of the browser app history, if it is gone, or short, your child has deleted it to hide his or her activity. Also, disable incognito mode in the browser. There are instructions on the internet on how to do that. This means you also need to lock down the settings in the browser as well.
Seems overwhelming doesn’t it? But for the sake of your children, the use of a smartphone needs to be thought through and you, as a parent, need to be proactive.
One last thing. Before you give a smartphone to your child or children, take some time to sit down with them and go over your expectations and rule concerning the smartphone’s use.
-Michael Holtzinger